today, i taught the baby a supremely valuable life skill. no, i did not teach him how to start a fire with only two rocks. and no, i did not teach him how to read dangerous signs like "end of road" or "stop now or you will die." and no, i didn't even teach him how to say "mommy" or "daddy" or, more importantly, "cherry is the queen of the universe and all should bow down to her or face the wrath of her sock boobs." i taught him something far more significant:

i taught him how to cluck his tongue. he's so cute. :)

today, i also came to the realization that i look like a boy. a very ugly boy. a very ugly, skinny, effeminate boy with moobies. small moobies, but moobies nonetheless. what to do...what to do... hmm. i think this new revelation reinforces my completely reasonable decision to become a hermit. or a nun. yes, that's it, i'll become a nun and revolutionize the nunnery as we now know it so that people will no longer think of nuns as old, dried up hags but rather ass-kicking, karate-chopping, big stick-wielding chicks who will not hesitate to beat you up if you are mean to other people. plus, i'll design more modern habits that are not only more comfortable and less itchy but also very stylish. and then i'll name myself mother superior and conquer the world.

la la la... i've eaten like almost an entire pineapple in the span of two days. it was a very good pineapple. i think i will go have some more of it.