happy valentine's day! despite my sometimes-bitterness at -- well -- life, i've compiled a short list of love quotes because, well, i'm just bipolar like that. most of you have probably read these before, but whatever. read 'em again! oh, and an asterisk (*) signifies my favorites of my favorites.

* "I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in." -- Unknown *

"Love makes me write what shame forbids me speak." -- Robert Herrick

"A lot of people wonder how you know if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this one question: 'Would I mind being destroyed financially by this person?'" -- Ronnie Shakes

* "But above all, above respect and esteem, there was a motive within her of goodwill which could not be overlooked. It was gratitude. Gratitude not merely for having once loved her, but for loving her still well enough to forgive all the petulance and acrimony of her manner in rejecting him, and all the unjust accusations accompanying her rejection." -- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice *

"Whether they yield or refuse, it delights women to have been asked." -- Ovid, Ars Amatoria

"'All you need is love'? Yeah? Try payin' the fuckin' rent with it." -- Keith Richards

"Before I met my husband I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times." -- Rita Rudner

"Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house." -- Jean Kerr

* "Ah, Celeste, my pretty jewel, I love you as a pig loves the mud!" -- Creole Proverb *

"Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else." -- George Bernard Shaw

"The surest way to hit a woman's heart is to take aim kneeling." -- Douglas Jerrold

"I am ze locksmith of love, no?" -- Pepe Le Peau

"Love: A temporary insanity curable either by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder...It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient." -- Ambrose Bierce

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia -- to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess." -- H.L. Mencken

"I fell head over heels in love -- and skinned my knees." -- Unknown

"I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth." -- Chico Marx

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." -- Ingrid Bergman

"Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." -- Unknown

la la la...happy valentine's day everyone. if you are a single gal, like myself, i hope you and your girlfriends go out and tear up the town. or at least bake some mean brownies and devour them all night (like me). or, you could just, you know, do a little dance, get a little drunk, basically just get down tonight. GET DOWN TONIGHT!!!!

okay...i'm going crazy. CRAZY I TELL YOU CRAZY CRAZY CRAAAAAZY. *takes a deep breath* it's all right everyone, i'm okay. *twitches* nothing wrong with *twitches* me at all *twitches*.

ahhh...the power of cheese.