i am having major gas problems.

i swear, this weekend, i must have burped like fifty times - at least! i don't know what's wrong with me. i've only had like three cans of pepsi. this whole weekend, not just today. that can't make me burp THAT much, can it? and these aren't normal burps. these are like full-on, belly aching, from-the-gut belches. very delicate and feminine.

there is something strange going on with my body this weekend. i am seriously beginning to suspect that i am perhaps pregnant.

well, okay. no, i'm not pregnant. it's difficult to become pregnant when you're a hermit who has never had sex before.