great. i wake up early for once and this is my reward. the boyfriend talk with my mother.

mother: why don't you have a boyfriend?!
cherry: *shrug* i don't know.
mother: do you just not like them or do boys not like you?
cherry: *shrug*
mother: it's okay you know. i had a lot of boyfriends when i was your age. i still do. i have lots of boyfriends and men still like me.
cherry: *stares dumbly* [thinks, "good god. please don't tell me one of them is named julio."]
mother: why do debra and christina have boyfriends but you don't?
cherry: *shrug* i don't know.
mother: *grasps daughter's right palm and stares hard at it* but it says right here - you have lots of friends!! so why don't you have a boyfriend??
cherry: *exasperated* i don't know!! i don't go looking for one!
mother: and they do? debra and christina? they go looking for boyfriends?
cherry: *stares* [wonders, "how in the world did she get so clever as to twist my words around like that?!"] no, that's not what i meant!!
mother: well. what about high school? did you have any boyfriends then?
cherry: no, i would've told you if i did. *looks around frantically for escape. notices baby and thinks, perhaps can grab baby and run off. but then notices that baby is strapped into chair and would take too long to unstrap him and would probably result in dragging chair with baby in it around house in semi-insane manner.*
mother: did boys just not like you?
cherry: [thinks sarcastically, "yes, that must be it."] *shrug* i don't know.
mother: well, just remember. there are a lot of things i can teach you about boys. i know a lot. just ask me.
cherry: uh...all right. *tries desperately to block images of mother knowing "a lot" about boys*
mother: i was just wondering, you know, why everyone has a boyfriend but you still don't.
cherry: i don't need a boyfriend. i'm doing fine by myself.
mother: *mishears* oh, you're going to find one by yourself?!
cherry: what?? no! i said i'm all right by myself.
mother: *disappointed* oh.

and then the conversation, blessedly, stopped. you know....i'm starting to think that in her oh-so-subtle manner, my mother was trying to determine if i was a lesbian or not. or if i was just, you know, REALLY BAD with the opposite sex. i should've thrown something in there like, "i don't need a boyfriend. i need to study." i wonder if that would've stopped the conversation sooner.

anyway. that was fun. going to try to find some other way to torture myself now.