this orange soda tastes funny. as an orange soda connoisseur, i should know. orange soda is like my wine. safeway brand orange soda is NOT good.

anyway. so there was this opinion article in the ucsd guardian last week that i thought was so hilarious. it was actually two articles - the pros of ucsd and the cons of ucsd. needless to say, the pros article was the funnier one. allow me to quote:

Since any discussion of the UC campuses inevitably involves UC Berkeley, the alleged "flagship" of the University of California, Berkeley will be addressed first.

The UC Berkeley campus resides within the town of Berkeley, which is what San Francisco would be if it were geographically smaller and further from the ocean, had more crime and a greater homeless-to-homeowner ratio, overcrowded housing next to dirty parks, regular riots, and drug addicts roaming the streets. Berkeley is like a tiny San Francisco on crack.

Plus, the phrase "Berkeley sucks" nets 43 results in a Google search, while "UCSD sucks" returns only two. There's even a Berkeleysucks.com. As everyone knows, the Internet never lies. That should put to rest any claim that UCSD is inferior to UCB. Incidentally, we should all refrain from using UC Berkeley's arrogant abbreviation "Cal," which is short for California, not Berkeley -- it only adds to its insufferable superiority complex.

Besides having Google's blessing and a more accurate abbreviation, UCSD also possesses many other redeeming qualities that make it the best public California university.

Our mascot can kill everyone else's mascot.

The UCSD Triton is, simply put, a god. He's an invincible being. He cannot be killed by mere mortals, and certainly not by the likes of the University of California at Santa Cruz's banana slug, the University of California at Irvine's anteater or the twin grizzly bears shared by UCLA and UCB. Don't even mention the University of California at Davis's "Aggie," which is either a mustang or some sort of farmer; no one's really sure. In either case, it can't stand up to the Triton.

The only mascot that poses the slightest threat to our Triton is the other immortal: UC Riverside's Highlander. The Highlander, as seen on television, lives forever unless it is killed by another Highlander in a choreographed swordfight. However, as a god, the Triton may still be able to smite the Highlander, since the Triton possesses a magical pitchfork (the phonetically confounding "trident") useful in close combat. The battle would be close, but it would've been a lot closer if I didn't do further research on Riverside's mascot and discover that their insidious "Highlander" is, in fact, just another bear. Naming their bear "Highlander" was a clever ploy to challenge the Triton's supremacy, but not clever enough.

i think i just found this really funny because practically everyone i know goes to berkeley. ;D