Two atoms bump into each other. One says "I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?", to which the first replies, "I'm positive."

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa.... i don't know why i think that's so funny, but i do.

hmm. i've decided that i would really like a new volkswagen beetle. a red one. and i'll paint the antenna thingy green so it'll be like a stem. get it? the car will look like a little cherry! hah!

yes yes, i know i need my license first, blah blah blah.

tonight, at deb's house, i tried to play solitaire with a pinochle deck. now a pinochle deck, for those of you who are as clueless as me, has only cards from nine to ace - nothing lower. i didn't even notice this till like i had gone through the remaining deck one full time and realized there were two aces of diamonds. but see, i was so absorbed listening to deb and jo's disjointed retelling of harry potter and the chamber of secrets ("and then students start getting frozen and - wait, first you have to know about moaning myrtle - oh no wait a second, okay, first there's ron and the flying car and...wait...um...i forgot what happened"). ;D i don't know why i thought it was so funny that i was playing solitaire with the wrong deck, but i found it pretty amusing. so did deb. and jo was just having speaking problems tonight. sWord. bowkay (bouquet). airpoyt (airport).

la la la...

my parents are so cute. my father's friend called and my mother picked up the phone. she handed the phone over to my father, winked, and whispered, "it's your boyfriend."

hah! my mother cut class today too. like mother, like daughter.

i turn my head for two seconds and there's milk all over the playpen and all over the baby.

so my mother left me alone with justin while she went out to run some errands today. oh yeah, i was home cuz i cut class. told my parents that class was cancelled though. shh... ;D anyway, i was home alone with justin (this wasn't the first time) and i handed him a bottle of milk while he was in his playpen. i was sitting on the couch reading for english when i turn my head to see how he was doing and there was milk EVERYWHERE. little one-year-old justin had somehow managed to unscrew the bottle a little, not all the way but enough so that there was now a milk flood in the playpen. and he was splashing around in it. so i pulled him out and washed his legs (where most of the milk ended up) in the kitchen sink which he thought was pretty funny. he kept playing with the faucet, making my job that much funner. no really, it was actually pretty cute. anyway, then i strapped him into his booster seat and plopped him in front of the tv (harry potter!) so i could go about the fun task of cleaning out the playpen.

you know, it's a good thing he's such a charmer or else i wouldn't have found this nearly as amusing as i did. :)

after watching amelie about twenty more times since saturday, i now have this overwhelming urge to go to a photo booth, take my picture in a zorro outfit, rip it up, and throw it away.

yet more proof that women are superior to men:

"When comparing the memory test scores and brain activity images between the two groups, researchers also found major gender differences. Women activated and used nine different areas of their brains to process memory and emotion, while men only used two."
~ Men and Women Process Emotional Memories Differently.

;D

i am having major gas problems.

i swear, this weekend, i must have burped like fifty times - at least! i don't know what's wrong with me. i've only had like three cans of pepsi. this whole weekend, not just today. that can't make me burp THAT much, can it? and these aren't normal burps. these are like full-on, belly aching, from-the-gut belches. very delicate and feminine.

there is something strange going on with my body this weekend. i am seriously beginning to suspect that i am perhaps pregnant.

well, okay. no, i'm not pregnant. it's difficult to become pregnant when you're a hermit who has never had sex before.

lovely lovely amelie.

le sigh.