hmm...i'm all alone. on a friday night. like, COMPLETELY alone. neha and sanaz went home for the weekend (although i think neha might be coming back tomorrow - in any case, she's not going to be here for the night) and tasha went out with shivan and probably won't be back until late late. there's no one at the other girls' apartment either. oh wait, there's allyn. but she's watching a movie or something, at least that's what her away message says. grace and helen went to la, and melissa went home for the weekend. so here i am, all alone in my apartment. it's not too bad. still can't get into blogger and now, actually, any page, not just blogger. like i've said before (like ten million times), the internet around here sucks. tasha and sanaz had problems getting to webpages too. bloggerbot's not on aim right now so i'm just typing this up on wordpad. will post later.

had lunch with christina chen today. i was so happy to see her. :) i was looking forward to our lunch date today for like the entire week. just chatted about random stuff - classes, our apartments, holidays, etc. didn't realize how much i missed her till we had lunch. yes, awww... it was funny, we saw nibi there (at subway's) but he had to go to class so he couldn't sit down and eat with us. really must hang out with chris more often.

i'm so depressed. i don't know why. yes, actually i do know why, but i don't really wanna blog about it. would rather keep all of it in my head where it'll fester, rot, putrefy, ulcerate, rankle, decay, develop gangrene (i love thesauruses, don't you?) and make me go absolutely mad. funny thing...i'm a psych major, but i don't really care for therapy or counseling. i mean, i can understand the need to talk about your problems with people who aren't involved with your problems, but i can usually find a friend who can fill those shoes instead of a complete stranger. i mean, paying someone to listen to you talk? i dunno...the whole time i'd just be thinking, "the shrink doesn't want to be here. s/he doesn't really care." let me clarify something though - this is just my opinion of "regular" therapy though. "regular" therapy as in "normal" people like you and me (well, i don't know about you personally) who would just go to get a few things off our chests like, i don't have a job, i hate school, i look ugly, no one likes me, blah blah blah. i DO think therapy and counseling is a good idea for people with more serious things like a rape or a death of a friend/family member. but yeah...why am i talking about therapy? i don't know.

ugh. had serious chocolate cravings today. baked a batch of brownies. was fully intending to accessorize my brownies with chocolate ice cream but stopped myself. i haven't even eaten dinner yet and it's like 930 pm. i'm starting to get really bored too. don't really want to watch tv. really wanted to rent a movie, but was too lazy to walk all the way to blockbuster and back. so now i'm just sitting here blogging with bridget jones's diary in my lap. rereading the part where bridget goes to mark's place for his parent's ruby anniversary (or whatever it's called). speaking of bridget jones's diary, i bid on a copy of the dvd on ebay. someone was auctioning off a bunch of bridget jones's diary dvds for like 9.99 so i placed a bid on one of them, but i was quickly outbid. i watched the other ones that he was auctioning off, but all those bids went up too. the cheapest one was like 12 something and shipping was like 3.00 so i didn't bother since at costco, it's like 18-19.00 and i was pretty sure i would've been outbidded again. oh well.

oh, physics midterm went horribly. professor LIED THROUGH HIS TEETH. well, okay, not really. well, actually, yes he did. he said that the midterm would have problems that would be really similar to the homework so i stayed up till 430 am studying all the homework problems and copying them down onto my cheat sheet. the midterm's problems were NOT like the homework. there were six problems total - i guessed on two of them. i had absolutely no idea how to work out the problem, i just threw down some physics-looking gibberish and handed in my blue book. whatever. i just want to pass the midterm, i don't really care about the grade since i'm just taking the class pass/no pass. but still. 430 am, man!! geez.

whoa, hey, my testing blog actually went through!! i published a testing blog using blog this and it actually worked!! i can't reach the actual page right now still, but dylan told me it was published. yay!! thanks, dylan. gonna try and post and publish this one right now.

*crosses fingers* please work!!

testing testing...hello, mr. blogger.

i STILL can't get into blogger and this is starting to annoy the crap out of me. [this explains why there are two entries so close together; i'm still blogging from aim and i can't write very much in one entry] in the short time that i've been blogging, it has become as dear to my heart as aim. really sad, i know. if you're a sad freak like me, you'll probably understand this - how when you can't get onto aim, you feel extremely disconnected and cut off and you start shaking and twitching. (haha, just kidding about the shaking and twitching ;) yeah, it's the same for me and blogger. when i can't blog, i feel kinda disconnected, weirdly enough. i can't help it - i'm a blog junkie now. thanks a lot, jo. it's all your fault. i don't know how, but i'm sure it is. you started it. first time i knew about blogging was from you.

went to sleep at 4:30 last night/this morning. latest i've stayed up since i've been here. but it was okay, cuz i wasn't tired at all. i was tired around like 2 am, but it passed. i'm skipping vietnamese and italian though. ;) also the first time i've skipped any classes since i've been here. i'm just gonna go to my physics midterm today then go have lunch with chris chen afterwards. yay! i'm happy that i'm not stressing about my physics midterm. i hope i don't regret that. but really, i think there's only so much stress i can go through in one week and i think that vietnamese test drained all my reserves.

ohmygod...i think i'm understanding physics. it's like the light bulb has suddenly turned on in my head. it's like the meaning of life has been fully exposed. it's like the gates of heaven have just burst open.

almost.

vietnamese test OVER!!! uuuugghh...okay, so i was overreacting. but you know what? i had right to. my instructor like scared the freaking bejeesus out of all of us with all this essay crap. the test WAS harder than the first one but she ended up not putting a lot of what she recently taught us, which is like a huge chunk. i guess it's a good thing that she just scared us, but still. it was really bad. i was stressing over this test like crazy. anyway, time to study for physics midterm. still can't get into blogger. stupid internet here.

ugh, okay. apparently, i can't blog long passages on aim. good thing, because i'd be bitching about vietnamese till the cows came home. oh god, i'm so overwhelmed. she just gave us too much material for me to handle. i usually do not stress this much over a test. but it's not just getting a bad grade that worries me (although that's a big part of it); it's just downright embarrassing that i can't speak vietnamese. yeah, i know that that's what the class is for - to teach me vietnamese, but still. i find it completely humiliating that i can't do this. i don't know why. there's deeper issues at work here. can't quite place my finger on it. but vietnamese just makes me want to cry. i hate this. i'm going to fail this test. badly. yes, i'm studying, but my mind is so scattered, i can't organize everything. god, someone help...

oh, it does work. well, i still hate my life. i hate vietnamese. i know i hate physics, but i'd rather be studying for physics right now. i don't understand anything in vietnamese. this is frustrating me like nothing else has frustrated me before. i can memorize the words but i don't know how to form sentences. the teacher is going way too fast. we're supposed to write an essay for this test. let me remind you that i am in a BEGINNER'S vietnamese class - for people with NO BACKGROUND in vietnamese. we didn't even do this in italian. i am so overwhelmed. we're on lesson 2 right now, but she's just like, "hey, let's take part of lesson 9 and 10 and call it lesson 2." well, okay, she didn't really say that, but that's seriously what she's doing. it's not fair. everyone in that class knows how to speak vietnamese which is why she's going so fast. i just want to blow my brains out right now.

SHIT! AGAIN!! okay, won't do that again until i'm finished blogging. actually, i don't even know if this is gonna work. shit. stupid stupid internet.

i hate my life.

oh shit. pressed enter by mistake.

as i've said before...internet around here SUCKS. hairy monkey balls. big ones. tried to blog yesterday but couldn't get into the site. i'm blogging through bloggerbot (aim) right now. couldn't get into blogger so wrote on word and saved it and here's what i wanted to say yesterday. nothing really important (but then again, nothing on my blogger raelly is), but anyway...

ahahahahahaa....check it out...got it from dylan's blog.

*takes a deep breath*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. I AM THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDIOT IN THE ENTIRE FREAKING WORLD.

i wrote myself five - count them, FIVE - reminders to myself to call my mother to tell her to change the tape in the vcr at home. since ucsd cable doesn't carry upn for some weird reason, i was forced to set the vcr to tape buffy and roswell every week. however, vhs tapes can only record up to 6 hours so my mom has to change the tape every three weeks. but i only remembered to call my mom just now. buffy's already over and roswell's half over. i feel really bad because i called her anyway and i think i woke her up. :( i am such a shithead. i can't believe i forgot. seriously, i was thinking about calling her all day for two days. i just kept putting it off though. AAAAARGH. i can't BELIEVE how stupid i am.

i think i'm gonna start crying. it's okay, i think i might be pmsing. actually, i don't think so. that's sad. where's the chocolate?

"So. To sum up what I really am is a lonely, ugly, sad act gagging for sex."
~ chapter 13, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Helen Fielding

"But above all, above respect and esteem, there was a motive within her of goodwill which could not be overlooked. It was gratitude. Gratitude not merely for having once loved her, but for loving her still well enough to forgive all the petulance and acrimony of her manner in rejecting him, and all the unjust accusations accompanying her rejection."
~ chapter forty-four, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

mmm...i'm in such a mushy mood. i don't know why, but that's my absolute favorite quote/passage in the novel. i even highlighted it in the book. it makes me sigh every time i read it. :)

hi, everyone. my name is cherry and i am an ebay-aholic.

[everyone:] "hello, cherry."

i don't know why, but i'm very tempted right now to drink my nail polish remover.

wow, this week is gonna suck big [hairy monkey balls]. italian quiz tomorrow, tons of linguistics reading, vietnamese test thursday [and the ta warned us that it's gonna be hard! :( ], and physics midterm friday. help help heeeeelllllp...

only thing i'm looking forward to is my big lunch date on friday, right after my physics midterm. you'll never guess who it's with. okay, i'll just tell you. chris chen!!! =D haven't seen much of her since we've been back in school and so we scheduled a lunch date on friday. ;) yay!

uuuugghhh...soooo sleeeeepy... ahh, my red old navy pajamas are so comfy...mmm...

okay, okay, i gotta study for my italian quiz tomorrow and start reading linguistics.

my current addiction: now and laters. mmmm.... :)

oooohhhhhhh....what a bum i am... (get it? *ohhhh, what a loooon i aaamm...* yeah, i don't think anyone got that. i know, i'm such a dork). i have been watching tv ALL FREAKING DAY LONG. yes, again. uuurrrrrrr....now i'm sitting here making funny noises. why am i blogging about this? i don't know.

hey, guess what? i have a physics midterm this friday. i'm not too worried about it, even though i really should be. i mean, i'm taking the class pass/no pass PLUS we're allowed a cheat sheet (one page, two sided). not to mention the fact that i'm taking the physics for non-science majors AND i suspect there will be a curve. but still...physics is probably my worst class like, EVER. worse than calculus, worse than chem, worse than bio. and i'm just sitting here watching tv.

oh, i had such a weird dream this morning. i dreamed that i was awakened by nsync's dirty pop playing on my computer. in my dream, i thought that i had left my mp3 player playing all night and fell asleep to it. and i was just lying there like, "uugh...don't wanna get up..." even though i really wanted to turn it off. funny thing is, i don't even have dirty pop on my computer. the dream was so weird though cuz it felt really real. i dunno.

all right. this is a stupid blog. gonna go to the kitchen and look for some munchies.

AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! IT WOOOOORRRRRKS!!!!!!!!!

ahhh... hi. ;)